Today I am realizing some things about myself. I’m getting in touch with a few feelings that I thought I had buried long ago. The problem was, the feelings weren’t dead. I burried them alive and they’ve been haunting me for years without my conscious knowledge nor my permission.
I used to be so self-conscious it was crippling and, though I’ve come a long way from that place, I still have some of those questions of worthiness and goodness plauging my thoughts and distorting my view of who God has created me to be.
God fearfully and wonderfully made me in His own image. He chose me. He hand-picked me and drew me to Him. He has gone ahead of me and laid the plans for my future and He has placed me on the path to walk out the plans He has made for me. The plans God makes are so wonderful and amazing, its difficult for me to even imagine them coming to fruition.
Should I question the plans He has for me? Do I dare consider myself unqualified for the tasks that He has assigned to me? If He calls me to these things…if He plants the desire and vision in my heart for certain things…do I insult Him by doubting that He has already given me what I need to succeed in these things? Why is it so hard to believe? The entire Bible is filled with average people doing extraordinary things because God called them to it. God used such an odd selection of broken vessels and social rejects to make His points. Why do we think He would operate differently in this day and age? God is still God. Though the world has changed, He has remained the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Its an honor to serve Him. Its not always easy and it doesn’t always look like you might expect it to, but this life He has called us to is completely amazing!
Thank you, God, for trusting me and for preparing me to handle the responsibilities that you have assigned to me. Thank you for being my father, my friend, and the lover of my heart. Thank you for creating me just exactly as I am. Thank you for the incredible family and friends and mentors that you have placed into my life. Thank you, Jesus, for coming to this Earth and living a blameless life, for showing us a perfect example to live by, and for shedding your blood to cover our sins. Thank you for enduring the pain and humiliation. Like the old hymn says, “He could have called 10,000 angels, to destroy the world, and set Him free…but He died alone, for you and me.” Thank you for every drop of blood that was spilled on our behalf. Thank you that I know you wouldn’t have changed a thing even if your sacrifice would have been saved no one else but me. Holy Spirit, thank You for being within me, for leading and guiding me each day, for helping me to feel Your presence and to hear Your gentle voice that speaks to me daily with guidance, comfort, and encouragement. Never leave my side. Dwell within me and fill every ounce of my body with Your goodness, Your mercy, and Your grace.
220 Gal 