I was reading in Luke 9:38-62 about the man whose son was possessed with an unclean spirit and he brought the boy before Jesus to have it cast out. It seems he had already brought the boy to the disciples but they couldn’t drive the demon out. So, of course, Jesus took care of business and then he addressed his disciples about his impending crucifixion, and here’s where it got especially good for me.
What Jesus did next in this story was to talk about the fact that the day was coming that He would no longer be with the disciples in the same way He was at that moment. And the Bible says, “‘Let these words sink into your ears: the Son of Man is about to be delivered into the hands of men.’ However, they did not comprehend this saying; and it was kept hidden from them, so that they should not grasp it and understand, and they were afraid to ask Him about the statement.”
Jesus said something to the disciples and told them to let the words sink into their ears, but at the same time, He prevented them from fully understanding it all at that point. Why would he do that? He knew they weren’t ready for it yet. He knew it wasn’t time for them to understand His words, but the words would come back to them at the moment that they needed them and at the moment that they could best benefit from their truth.
I love how God does that. Its just like reading your Bible. You may not always understand why God gives you a certain passage and places it on your heart for meditation, but then that moment in life arrives out of the blue and you need to feel His presence in a situation, and then the Word He gave you days, weeks, months, or years before jumps to life and fills you with the promise of His presence in your circumstances. He’s so sneaky!
The story goes on, as everyone was marveling at the great work Jesus had just done, suddenly there broke out between the disciples a spat basically over which of them was Jesus’ favorite. Even in the presence of these great miracles–and in the physical presence of Jesus Christ Himself!–they still got distracted by wanting their little piece of recognition. They wanted to be considered one of the great ones. Hello?! Jesus just performed an amazing miracle right before your eyes and all you can do is want recognition for yourself? You didn’t drive out the unclean spirit, Jesus did, and YOU want recognition now.
I don’t know why we get so hung up on ourselves. Even in the midst of our great and loving King, we still want to be the one to stand out and be counted special. All the honor and glory is due to the Lord and all the works in the world won’t make a difference if we forget to glorify the One who makes the sun rise in the morning, the One who heals the sick, lifts the broken hearted, and forgives all our transgressions.
So that lead me to thinking about my recent disconnect from God. Was I seeking my own recognition from the Lord for my “good deeds” and at the same time failing to connect with Him the way I should in prayer and in studying His Word? Did I fail to glorify Him when all the things in my life were going right? Dang it! Yeah.
So I was feeling pretty sad that all the disconnect I had been experiencing recently was again my fault (no surprise there!). Then, like a gift from God, a song began to play on the television and I knew it was Him, comforting me, telling me He was there with me. The words pierced my heart and my eyes filled with tears as I felt God loving me so tenderly, reconnecting with me in an amazing, audible way. It was Tenth Avenue North’s song, “By Your Side.” Check out these lyrics.
Tenth Avenue North
By Your Side
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
(Chorus 2x)
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I’ll never let you go
(Chorus 2x)
I WAS STRIVING AND TRYING TO EARN GRACE! I was crying so hard I couldn’t even see and then lyric, “Let me lift up your face” just permeated my heart. I felt Him loving me. I felt the hands of my Father, touching my chin and gently lifting my head to look into his loving eyes “Don’t turn away.” “Why are you looking for love? Why are you searching, as if I’m not enough.” Oh my gosh. I’m a blubbering mess now. “I’ll be by your side whenever you are falling. In the dead of night, whenever you call (here’s the kicker…) Please don’t fight these hands that are holding you.” And He clarifies, “MY hands are holding you.”
I can’t describe this moment. It was too amazing. I have been searching. I have been striving. I have been trying to do all this “stuff” all on my own and He’s telling me, just spend time with me. Read my word and talk to me. If you do nothing else, just do those two things.
Just those two things. Spend time with me and hear my words. Such a simple request that we could never bat an eye at if it came from our kids or our best friend…why is it too much to give to my precious, Heavenly Father? I love you so much, Lord. Thank you for showing me in such a gentle, precious way your love for me. You revealed so much to me in such a breif moment. I can’t even put into words the fire that burns within my heart for more moments such as those I just had with You yesterday morning.
220 Gal 