Well, we all have our moments of relapse and this past weekend, I had mine. I’ve been so diligently working toward being a good, non-nagging, Christian wife, the kind of stuff that a real Proverbs 31 woman is made of. But sometimes, there are some projects that come about–and NO ONE wants to do them, yet they need to be done–and lo and behold, the flesh takes over.
Our basement has been in need of some cleaning for quite a while now, and a nice long weekend seemed just the perfect occasion to get this daunting project out of the way. I told my son and my husband yesterday morning, “Today is basement day!” I was met with eye rolling, shoulder dropping, heavy sighing. I just wasn’t in the mood for this kind of response. I mean, I don’t want to do it either, but it has to be done. So I whipped out Nag-zilla.
My husband played as if he didn’t hear me. Then, in a feeble attempt to appease me, he said he “planned” to do multiple other jobs that I’d been hinting at for quite a while now…jobs that weren’t nearly as difficult as basement day. The more he hem-hawed around, the more iritated I got. We were wasting precious time and I wanted this done NOW.
Crab, crab, crab, nag, nag, nag. My husband finally got up…but instead of going to the basement, he went outside. Ooh, that just burned me up. My son headed to the basement and started doing what I told him to (in all actuality, he was probably just hiding from me), and I stayed upstairs for a bit, doing dishes as loudly as I could, slamming cabinet doors and jostling pans about. I even prayed (what audacity I have to act so holier than thou at this moment!). I said, “God, I’m just so angry right now. I know I shouldn’t act this way but I wish you’d just make him so he cares about stuff! I told him what I needed but now he’s outside doing who-knows-what – probably nothing – and I’m going to have to do that basement by myself. He lives here too. He should want to live in a nice, clean house – or, at the very least, he should care enough about me to want to make me happy.” (Oh, boy. I was layin’ it on thick!)
Pretty soon, my son poked his head out of the basement door and said, “Mom, where’s dad?”
I snapped, “Don’t worry about where he is. You just do what I told you to do.”
Immediately I heard God say in my Spirit, “Yeah, that sounds like some good advice.”
Aw, dang it! I hate it when He uses my own words against me! But He was right. Again. Like He always is. I needed to stop worrying about where my husband was and what he was doing and just do what God has told me a million times to do…SHUT UP and trust Him to handle everything else.
You know, if I had kept my peace and handled things the way God has told me to–in more gentle, kind, loving manner– my husband probably would have gotten up and done exactly what I asked him to and there would have been no arguing or carrying on. If I had taken it before the Lord before I acted like a complete idiot, He may have put the burden on my husband’s heart right away and we could have worked together to get the job done without the argument and resentment.
As soon as God called me out, I had to repent, right then and there, for my actions. How can I be Jesus to the world if I can’t get it right in my own home first? So I’m back to the basics, once again. You know, believe it or not, I AM getting better at this…but I’m still a work in progress. Thank You, Jesus, for helping me be quicker to see this ugly stuff in myself and to stop it more quickly, before it causes any lasting damage. And thank You for giving me a wonderful husband, whom you hand-crafted to tolerate me while I grow in You.
Yes, my husband did eventually come in and we cleaned the basement, but it just didn’t seem to be so important anymore. What was more important was the cleanliness of my heart and our relationship. There’s nothing on this Earth, aside from our relationship with God, that should be more important than each other.
220 Gal 