I’ve been praying and believing for change. I know that where I am is just a stepping stone to where God will ultimately have me. I’ve asked God to give me wisdom and clarity and discernment concerning the issue of this change. I’ve asked God to promote me in His Kingdom and allow me to work for Him full-time. I’ve asked for so much. And while I KNOW there will be difficult decisions and sacrifice and fear and trembling, sometimes I forget all that when I ask Him for things like this. How is it that I’m still so surprised when things turn out differently than I imagined they would?!
I asked for change and change came. It came in a different package than the one I requested. And, when it first came, what did I do? I tried to pray it away! “No, no, God…not like THAT! That’s not what I meant. Here, scoot over and let me show You how it’s done…Uh…I mean…” Hmmm. I guess that’s exactly what I was saying to God without meaning to.
When I was whining to God about all the changes I was having to deal with, He said, “Didn’t you ask Me to promote you?”
To which I replied a sheepish, “Yes.”
“Well,” He went on, “if you can’t handle these little changes–which are character-shaping building blocks–then how will you EVER be ready for The Big Change that you keep asking me for?”
I understood two things:
First, I understood that my reluctance to change is just stupid. If I balk at every change, how will I ever make the transition into the life that God is calling me to?
And, secondly, I understood that God was protecting me. Until I work out some of the stuff that He’s trying to build in me (or tear out of me, as the case may be), I’m not ready to do what He’s grooming me for. If I jumped right out there right now and did it on my own, I would surely fail…and my dreams would be crushed. So, it’s better to wait on the Lord–however long that takes; even if I die waiting and believing–than it would be to try to jump ahead of Him.
So, I’m sorry, God, for being so full of myself and my own ideas about how this should all come together and how it should look when promotion time gets here. I’m sorry I thought I knew best – again. Thank You for protecting me from my own exuberance and impetuousness. Thank You for continuing to build a higher quality character in me. Thank You for showing me the paths of excellence. I’m waiting on You again. I want to do this, but, more importantly, I want to do it right…according to Your timetable, not mine.
220 Gal 