It Wasn’t That Long Ago…

Ephesians 2:1-11 – 1 It wasn’t so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. 2 You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. 3 We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. 4 Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, 5 he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! 6 Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah. 7 Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. 8 Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! 9 We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! 10 No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing. 11 But don’t take any of this for granted. It was only yesterday that you outsiders to God’s ways

No, it wasn’t long ago at all that I was a hateful, angry, wounded girl with twisted ideas and no hope for my future. It wasn’t long ago at all that I put me and mine before all others…that I did and said what I wanted regardless of the price it may have cost in the long-run. It wasn’t that long ago that I aimlessly drifted through life, trying to mask the pain and trying to be someone I was not. It was not that long ago that I took all my frustrations out on the people around me…the people I loved the most…the last people I’d ever want to really hurt. It was not that long ago that I thought I had all the answers, that I thought drugs, or my family, or my job, or my “stuff” would fill the emptiness I had inside of me.

She was such a sad little girl. She makes me cry sometimes when I think about her. This person I used to be, this terrible thing that I was…how she ached inside, knowing something was missing but not knowing what it was…not knowing how to find it…not knowing where to search…not knowing what to do, where to go, or how to heal.

The song by CeCe Winans, Alabaster Box, has a line that brings me to tears every time. It says, “You weren’t there the night Jesus found me. You did not feel what I felt when He wrapped His loving arms around me, and, you don’t know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box.”

I cry over those words because no one will ever know. No one was there – no one but me and Jesus. When I finally let Him in, when I finally broke and I knew that it was all about Him…you don’t know the cost of my salvation. You don’t know what it cost me to finally get to the place to ask the Lord in and beg Him to take over on that dark, lonely night, driving down the highway, tears streaming down my face. And you also don’t know, none of us really can fathom, the price our Savior paid when he hung on that cross to give us a second chance. Oh the price of the precious blood. The suffering and humiliation and terrible abuse this amazing, loving, beautiful man-clothed God had to suffer to purchase our freedom…He did it. He did it for us. He endured it all for us – and He felt every last bit of it. The ridicule. The beatings. The betrayal of His friends. My God. The cost.

God’s Mercy and His Love are beyond human comprehension. If you ever think you can really comprehend the vastness of it, think again. It’s beyond measure. Verse 7 above says, “Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus.” God is even more overjoyed than we are when we finally give up the reigns and ask Him to come in. It doesn’t matter what we did. It doesn’t matter what we said. It doesn’t matter who we were. It’s only about who we are through Him now that matters anymore.

I am a new creature in Christ. You may have thought you knew me before I found the Lord, and you may think you know who I am and what I’m about. You may think all this is fake or crazy or whatever. But I have to be honest with you…and I don’t mean to offend…but it doesn’t matter what you think. All I care about is pleasing God at this point. He saved me from such shame and such vile living and such pain and loss and devastation. If you knew me before and you don’t think who I am now is an improvement…there’s seriously something lacking in your perception. I will NOT be ashamed to proclaim the name of my Lord and to tell you that it is Jesus who has taken hold of me and I never want him to loosen His grip. It is Jesus who saved my marriage and my family and my life. I will not back down when someone tries to tell me I believe in fairy tales or I’m being idealistic. I may not have all the historical background and Latin translations and liturgical whatever, but I know Who changed my life. I’ve talked to Him. He talks to me. He gave me a second chance and no one and nobody is gonna make me stop believing in my Friend…in my Father…in the lover of my soul.

If you don’t know Jesus like this, I’m begging you, please, just invite Him to take the reins of your life and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. I’m telling you, He won’t let you down. You’re never too old or too young or too far gone. He loves you. He knows you better than you know yourself. That thing that’s missing in your life…it’s Him. The things that are going wrong in your life are because you’ve politely asked the Lord to stay out of it – and He is a gentleman. He won’t force Himself on you. He’s waiting for you to ask him to come in – or to come back. And the minute you do, I promise, if you mean it, your life will never be the same.

Thank you, God, for all You’ve done for me. Use me, Lord, in any way You see fit. I am a blank page and I’m ready for you to write the next chapter in my story. I want to tell others what You’ve done for me so they’ll know that You’ll do it for them too…that and so much more. Use me, God, to share Your goodness with those who are lost in the lies that devil has told them. Help me be a purveyor of hope to a lost generation.