God, I just want to tell You…of all the things you’ve done for me, of all they times you’ve blessed me, of the millions of ways you’ve caused these crazy series of events in my life to perfectly align to bring me to this place I’m at right now…I thank You.
For so long, I was lost. I was desperately searching for something to fill the void in my heart. I tried various methods of numbing myself to reality, only to find that none of them brought me peace. I created a pseudo-me who was tough-as-nails and who felt she didn’t need anyone, only to find myself more alone and more in need of others than I’d ever been before. I tried to buy things that made me feel happy, only to find myself struggling in a growing mound of debt. I tried to extract my happiness from my husband, only to find that he was human too and unable to meet all my needs. Everything fit like a square peg in a round hole. Nothing could fill the part of me that was crying out for her Father.
And all the while, You were waiting for me. You were calling me. You softly, gently, continuously tugged at my heart, saying, “Baby girl, won’t you please come home?”
Then you patiently waited. And even though I initially rejected You, You never gave up on me. No, Your love was unlike any other I had experienced in my life. You didn’t throw me away, like people sometimes do…as I tried to do to You. You just kept calling. And, when I finally found myself broken enough to realize that only You could help me, there You were. You were waiting just outside the door the whole time. I needed only to crack the seal and ask You in, and You rushed through it to be by my side, like a long-lost friend.
And in that moment, You gave me this love…this compassion…this sincere empathy for Your people. It’s a character trait I never really had before. But, now, I wouldn’t know how to turn it off if I wanted to. I love to serve You by serving Your people. I love being part of the plans that You had for me, long before I was ever born. I love knowing who my Father is, and doing my best to reflect who He is through my actions. I love people now that I didn’t even like before. I cry floods of tears at the craziest things because I’m so full of emotion that You set free in me. I once felt like a dried up well, and now I’m soaking in Your living water.
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you so much for never giving up on me. Lord, how I love You. How I long for those sweet, stolen moments with You. I love knowing You’re always here with me. I can’t go anywhere without Your arms of grace around me, without your strong right-hand holding me up. Me. A sinner. One of those hard-headed, fallen, messed-up Israelites. I don’t deserve a thing, Lord. But because of who You are, You have even given me a way out of that. With the blood of Jesus that was shed on the cross for me, I am made worthy. I’m not a broken person who has been patched back together. No, Lord—my Wonderful God of Abundance—You have made me a brand new creature. Through the scarlet flow of Jesus’ blood, I am forgiven. I am whole. I am family. I am blessed.
I want nothing more than to just spend time with You. I know You have things for me to do…I’m called to share this amazing love You’ve shown me…and I serve You in whatever capacity You ask of me. Where you will for me to go, I will go. That which you ask me to do, I will do. But, honestly, my favorite moments are not found so much in the ministries you have me in, but, rather, in those moments when I am able to just bask in your presence, soak up your peace, and rest in your arms.
I guess I just wanted to say…I love You, Lord. There are no words that can express it aptly, so those simple words will have to suffice. But You know my heart and You know there’s so much more to it than that. Oh, Jesus, there is no sweeter sound than the sound of Your name. It is my honor to serve You and an immeasurable joy to be called Your child.
This is my heart to my Father. An unsaved person may wonder why I would share something like this. I’m sure it sounds a little wild to someone who doesn’t know our Father the way I do. But the reason I share it is because this kind of relationship is available to you too. It’s available to anyone who will ask the Lord to come into their lives, forgive them, and radically change them. I want you to know, the love of God is not a conditional, broken kind of love like people give to one another. His love is an all-consuming fire that burns for you, whether you realize it or not—whether you accept it or not. And there’s healing and joy available to anyone who is willing to ask for it.
And, if you’re already saved or just interested in finding a deeper love relationship with God or building the skills that could help bring your ministry to the next level, maybe you’d like to consider attending the annual “She Speaks Conference” hosted by the ladies at Proverbs 31 Ministries. This conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father God. What better way to spend a girls’ weekend than to join together with other sisters in Christ and strengthen our walk together through the power of our Lord Jesus Christ?!
Click the “She Speaks Conference” button below to find out more about this amazing weekend event, and, if money is tight, consider writing a quick blog about your love of the Lord, as I just did, and share it via the “Scholarship” link below for a chance to win a scholarship to the conference (a $595 value).
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