I’ve been at this amazing women’s conference all weekend. The speakers have been top-notch. The teaching has been phenomenal.I’ve been blessed to the point of tears several times. I love coming to things like this…and I hate it. Its like walking around on a cloud for three days, fully engulfed in the presence of God, and then…it happens. The end of the conference is here and I’m entering the reality zone–the place where Satan tries to steal everything God just gave me. 😛
I just want to live in this holy bubble forever. I want to be around people who are on their best behavior. I want to be able to go to a room of 650 women who are praising God three or four times a day. I want to be surrounded by people who are telling their salvation stories and lifting one another up through heart-felt hugs, words of encouragement, and sisterly support. But, until I get to Heaven, I know things like this can’t last forever, and I realize, Satan has already gone to meddling.
I started my day with a Facebok post about how I am going to live today open-handed and grateful in all things. *Christain-girl smile* Ahh. Such bliss. Almost immediately after posting those words came the wardrobe malfunction (and every woman knows the amout of time and energy you put into picking out JUST the right outfit for occasions such as this!). I looked so cute in my FAVORITE brown capris with my favorite pink shirt that I intentionally saved for today. All I had left to do was to put on my shoes. As I brought my foot up to my knee to put my shoe on, the entire seam on the inside of my right thigh gave way. *sigh* Really? But I have no other brown bottoms, and there’s no time to go buy anything. So I have not choice but to put on yesterday’s pants–which are a little musty and wrinkled up from being in the dirty clothes bag overnight–and I don’t have time to iron them because I’ll be late for the last session. So I look like a Kleenex that has been wadded up and tossed asisde, and I smell like damp clothes that have been left in the washer too long.
As I stand, disgusted, before the mirror, God urges me to look deeper than my surface reflection. How am I reflecting Him now? Am I still living open-handed and grateful less than 60 seconds after I posted those words? Abasing or abounding, am I filled with joy? Am I full of the peace that surpasses understanding? What’s going on inside of me? In my self-check, I realize I’m feeling far from cute and less than confident. I’m also frustrated and somewhat downcast. My entire demeanor has darkened because of what again? Pants. I’m crushed over a pair of pants.
Am I that big of a sucker that I’m going to allow Satan to steal my joy and confidence that quickly and with such relative ease?! Oh my goodness. How quickly we fall victim to his schemes. And, while I have not yet mastered the art of stopping him before he gets to me, I AM getting better at recognizing it more quickly and putting a stop to it!
I almost laughed out loud at the ridiculous thoughts that fleeted through my head moments ago, as I actually considered just skipping the last session and going home. Whatever! As if! (pardon me as I have a “Wayne’s World” moment) Nope! I’m walking my butt down to that conference room full of beautiful women, decked to the nines, and I’m wearing my wrinkly, slightly musty pants, and I’m going to praise God and enjoy the last day of this conferece like I’m wearing a deisgner suit! Because it really doesn’t matter what pants I have on; I almost left without something much more important…the armor of God. I would be MUCH more embarassed to have left without putting THAT on!
Silly devil. Nice try. But you’re messing with someone who knows Who’s she is. And I know you hate that I’m here. And I know you hate even more all that I’ve learned and all I’m going to do with what I’ve learned. And I know that you’re going to do your level best to keep me distracted. But you can put rude drivers all around me, screaming children in the restaurant next to me, and crabby people all up in my path, but you aren’t getting this girl’s joy or confidence in the Lord! Neener, neener, neener. God wins! 🙂
220 Gal 