I was talking to a friend last night and the conversation turned to some of the things in my life that I have lost. Her compassionate heart is such a treasure. It was as if she could feel the pain that I, as a teen, wished others could somehow see. But it was almost funny to receive that recognition at this point, because she seemed to be more bothered by all of it than I was. Let me explain.
I lost my father when I was still a toddler. I lost two of my sisters as a teen. My surviving sister is lost within a mental illness. I lost one marriage and nearly lost two. I’ve lost children in utero. I’ve lost jobs and grandparents and friends. At various points in my life, I’ve lost dreams, lost hope, lost trust, and lost faith. It sounds like a sad life…but it’s really just life.
Aside from the specific details and timing, it’s not so different from anyone else’s. We all go through these things, and they are excruciatingly painful to bear in those moments. But, in spite of all the losses, I’ve had a really great life. I’ve had a life filled with love and support, family, friends, laughs, and loves. And though I lost the shaky “faith” of my youth, when I regained it as an adult, it became real to me…something I could never again imagine losing. Through every tragedy, I was never alone. I may not have realized that my Comforter was ever-present, but, still, He was. And through every tear-filled agony, God had a plan to work everything together for good.
I guess I’ve just come to the point where I realize how temporal all of this stuff in the world really is. The things we cling so tightly to…one day, they’ll all be gone. This isn’t a depressing thought (though. I know it probably sounds depressing at this point!) But it’s not. This world is temporary. It’s the training ground for our real life that will come after this one passes away. This reminds me of my grandma (my hero) who developed Alzheimer’s late in her life. Despite her lost memories, she never forgot her love of Christ, nor the words to this song…the one she sang over and over again in her final days.
This World is Not My Home
“This world is not my home. I’m just passing through.
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.
The angels beckon me from heaven’s open door,
And I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.”
She got it. She understood it. Though she was “confused,” I feel like she knew, better than many of us, about how we are to live. We are to live with the things of this Earth held loosely in our grasp and our eyes and hearts directed toward Heaven. Pray for people and situations. Care. Love. Enjoy your life. But just don’t ever let these Earthly things take precedence over the things that God is calling you to do. If He tells you to sell your house, move to the bush, and teach pygmies about who He is, then do it. What’s a house–which will one day be a pile of rubble–in comparison to your obedience to God? Sometimes, we let our “stuff” get in our way it diverts us from the very reason God made us. Then, our lives are spent just wasting time. The Bible tells us:
“Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” – 1 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV)
There’s so much in that verse I can hardly do it justice. But suffice to say, we don’t see this world clearly. We struggle so much to obtain things and achieve goals and win the affections of people. While those things aren’t necessarily bad, they are but temporary pleasures. The crowns that Jesus will place upon our heads…now THOSE are REAL treasures. We will have loved ones in Heaven and the affections we will receive there will far-exceed those we have here; so much so, I’m willing to believe we won’t even miss anything or anyone we’ve left behind. Our life here is not really about the things we can see nor the things we do every day. It’s so much more about learning of our God, preparing our hearts for Him, serving Him, developing a relationship with Him, learning to hear His voice and following His lead. This is boot camp. He never said it would be easy. He just promised never to leave us nor forsake us on our journey. He told us the road is narrow, but He also told us he goes before us and prepares the way.
I still cry when I lose someone I love. I still get upset when someone purposefully attacks me or a loved one. I still work to pay for the physical things this world has to offer and I still purposefully set and achieve goals. These are important things. I just do my best to keep them in the right perspective. Let’s say someone doesn’t approve of me. So. God does. Or maybe someone has a nicer house. So. I have a mansion in Heaven. What if someone was mean to me? So. Just think of how mean people were to Christ.
I guess I’m just saying, yes, we experience difficulties in this world. But, thank God, HE has overcome the world! HE will comfort us. HE will redeem our losses. HE will cause blessings to chase us down and overcome us. HE will help us get through it and, in the meantime, it’s okay to laugh at funerals as you remember the good times you had with the one you have lost. It’s okay to smile when you’re broke, as long as you know where your provision really come from. It’s okay to praise Him, even when it hurts. There’s going to come a day when all these things will be gone and we will be able to dwell in the House of the Lord forever and ever. None of these other things will matter anymore and it’s just going to be us and Him and a Heaven full of others who who love Him too. I don’t want to hurry up and die so I can go be with Him, but, I think, when my time comes, I’ll be okay with that as well. But I only want to get there when He calls me home. Any sooner and I won’t be ready. For, as long as I’m here, there’s still more for me to learn to be successful in my future life with Him!
God, help me to live this life gracefully and to impact as many others as I possibly can while I’m here. I thank you for all you have given me in this life and for all you have waiting for me in Heaven. Help me to be a good steward of the things you have entrusted to me and keep me from holding too tightly to anything that is meant to be let go. I love you, Lord. Amen.
220 Gal 