Did you ever play Whack-a-Mole? You know…the game with 12 holes where little, plastic moles intermittently pop out in random sequences; the object is to whack as many of them as possible on the head with a foam mallet before they disappear. Sometimes I feel like playing that game…but with people instead of plastic moles.
I know. That’s not nice. Christians shouldn’t feel that way. Well…sometimes we do. Okay, I’ll just throw myself under the bus and say, I do. I know it’s wrong – and I repent when I spend too much time thinking thoughts like that. But I look at some of the things that people do and I’m like, “Really? So you feel like that kind of behavior/language/outfit, etc. is somehow appropriate? Were you raised by wolves?”
It’s not that I’m a prude. It’s not that I’m holier than thou. I can recall quite clearly where I came from – and it was anything but pretty. But even when I was living like a total loser, I at least had the wherewithal to try to hide it! But today, I have to wonder where morals and common decency have gone? What on earth are people thinking about when they say and do some of the things they say and do? It’s like there’s no regard for anyone else’s welfare anymore. There are just so many spoiled rotten, entitled, smart-mouthed, cry-babies who are out there to “get what’s theirs,” and they are seemingly EVERYWHERE, in every age-group! And instead of anyone telling them they need to suck it up and act right, we coddle them…allowing them to “find their own way.” And we don’t want you to discipline your children; you may crush their little spirit. Then make sure to be so politically correct that you don’t really stand for anything. And remember to accept every kind of sin because you’re judgmental if you don’t. I mean, you just have to let people be who they are and hope for the best. Right? Wrong!
Look. I’m not suggesting we really start smacking people in the head with foam Jesus mallets…well…maybe…okay, no, I’m not. But, I do feel the way we are currently doing things isn’t really working either. I’m watching kids at stores walk through exits and just let the door fly back and hit the next person in the face…this is after they’ve cussed out their parents for getting them the wrong whatever-they-wanted. I’m watching women with low self-esteem wear clothes with all their goods on display, leaving nothing to the imagination, and acting all offended when men make comments. I’m watching husbands let their wives walk in the rain–carrying the groceries–instead of getting the car, handling the bags, and treating her like a lady. The elderly, with all their years of wisdom and insight, are locked away and forgotten about. People curse like sailors (in church), post nearly pornographic photos of themselves on Facebook, sleep with anyone who wants to give it a go, and get mad at cops who arrest them for doing things that are illegal. Ugh! I just can’t hardly stand it anymore. I feel like, at some point, SOMEONE has to step in and provide direction and loving correction. But when we do, we’re labeled as goodie-goodies who think we’re better than others.
Well, call me what you want. I just can’t watch it anymore. I’m no better than anyone else, but I have to say, I honestly try to be the best person I know how to be. I take credit for my successes as well as my failures. I genuinely don’t want to hurt anyone. I am respectful to my elders. I try to consider the way my actions may affect others and, sometimes, I don’t do something I want to do because I care more about someone else than I do myself. I respect my husband and his role as the authority over our home, even when we don’t agree–and that doesn’t make me weak. (I guarantee it takes a lot more strength to submit than it ever did to fight for my own way.) I love my children enough to encourage them when they’re doing well and to correct them when I believe they’re acting in a way that is less than their best. I honor, respect, and submit to my leaders at work and church and, more than anything, I try to live in a way that glorifies God.
Am I perfect at this? No. I fail daily. Some days, hourly! But no one owes me anything. No one owes me money or respect or emotional fulfillment or kind words or anything else. Some of the wonderful people in my life do provide those things for me, but no one owes them to me. Everything I need is found in God; and, if I’m not getting it, I’m not seeking it, because Romans 8:32 tells me, He won’t withhold any good thing from me.
I don’t suppose I really want to smack anyone. I just want people to stop hurting one another…stop taking relationships and provision and life for granted. I want people to come to understand the importance of respect, hard work, appreciation, and commitment. I want people to respect themselves as well as others. I want people to honor the God who formed them, Who loves them, Who placed within them everything they need to become all He has called them to be.
So how do I deal with these feelings of frustration? First, I don’t read every post by every friend on Facebook. Sorry. I do have to hide, from myself, some of the stuff that my friends and family say and do. It’s not that I don’t love you; it’s just…well…I have to guard my heart and not everything that everyone puts out there needs to be seen and/or heard. And it’s not just Facebook. There are some people in my life that are meant to be there full-time, part-time, and no-time. Sometimes I have to let people go–not in anger, but in love. Sometimes I just need to allow there to be a little space between us. Other times, God shows me how to dig my heels in and refuse to let go because He has a purpose for the relationship. Whatever the case, I just try to do as God leads and, when I listen to Him, it may not always be easy, but it always has a way of working out for the best.
Beyond that, I pray – a LOT. I ask God to forgive me if I’ve stepped out the boundaries of righteous anger and into the realm of judgment. Judgment just isn’t a place I want to be. But, if I find I’ve slipped into judgment, I immediately ask for forgiveness. From there, I ask God to show me if there’s something in ME that needs to change. Am I misunderstanding? Are my expectations out of line? Am I being led by my emotions or the Spirit? Are you trying to build something in me through this? Next, I pray for the people who are like sandpaper to my brain. It’s not that they want to be annoying…most of them…but it’s just that they don’t know, perhaps, the fulfillment of having a relationship with Christ and/or how to walk it out yet. Finally, I do my best to change what God shows me I need to change, and then I provide Godly guidance to those with whom my relationship is strong enough to withstand my speaking boldly, honestly, frankly, and LOVINGLY into their lives. Not everyone is ready for that level of “real,” so God gives me guidance and grace to make my way through with a right heart and attitude toward the rest of these people.
I’m not “casting stones.” I don’t want to condemn anyone. I truly love people in general. But we all have areas in our lives where we need someone who is a little more mature to come along and challenge us to step it up and to show us how. I WANT constructive feedback from loving mentors. I WANT someone to tell me if they see me doing something dangerous to me, hurtful to someone else, or offensive to God. Please don’t let me drive off a cliff because you’re afraid to be real with me. Don’t confuse “real” with “mean,” but, please, help build me up. And I’ll do the same for you…and I promise not to whack you over the head. Okay? 🙂 We all need each other.
So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it. And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love! Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out. Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. Don’t suppress the Spirit, and don’t stifle those who have a word from the Master. On the other hand, don’t be gullible. Check out everything, and keep only what’s good. Throw out anything tainted with evil. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11-22
220 Gal 