Today, I’m just basking in the beauty of who God is. I’m not asking Him to do anything for me–to bless me, to release me, to comfort me…none of that. I just want to love on HIM. He is always so faithful to do all those other things, but they’re not what I want to pursue. What I want…what I crave…is just to seek His face and to know the depths of His heart.
This God of the Universe, He loves us so much and He requires so little in return. He asks us to be willing to give up everything, yet it’s really nothing–and nowhere close to all that He deserves. In exchange for our meager ability to accept Him and receive His love in whatever tiny little way our finite brains can fathom, He gives us everything. Peace, love, joy, hope, restoration, gifts, blessings, wisdom, grace…the list is never-ending.
So today, I purposefully turn my gaze, not to the gifts, but to the Giver. I look into those eyes and I have to look away. He is too beautiful…too holy. But His undiverted gaze holds fast. He peers through my eyes, deep into my soul, and His passion for me cuts straight through. I cling to Him, tears flowing from my eyes, and I hold Him tight. I tell Him I don’t know how. I can’t find words to express it. I fumble for something big enough, strong enough, deep enough to express my love and appreciation – yet there are no expressions grand enough to capture it all. I ask Him just to let me hold Him, and He does, all the while holding me.
No, God, I just want to give to YOU. I don’t want anything back. You’ve already been so good, so gracious, so kind. I just want to pour my love into You for a change. But I’ve found the one thing God doesn’t know how to do…He doesn’t know how to not love me back. He doesn’t know how to quit blessing me. He doesn’t know how to receive love in a one-way direction. He is compelled to pour into me and He just can’t stop.
Father, thank you…not for what you do, but for Who you are. Thank You for Your personality, Your passion, Your purity. Thank You for your smile and for Your wild sense of humor. That gentle, yet hearty laugh of Yours that I’ve felt so deep within my soul on multiple occasions. Thank You for that lighter side of You that You’ve so graciously allowed me to experience. And thank You that I’m not so blinded by all the lightness of Your heart that I forget about the weightiness of Your holiness. I want to live out all my days in fear and trembling. I want to be the girl who knows the power of the Blood of Christ that flowed down that tree to set me free. I want to be the girl who never forgets the exchange that was purchased for me on Calvary. When Your eyes roam about the Earth searching for a heart that is perfect toward You, I want them to land on me and for You to stand strong in my life because You know You are my Best Friend, my Father, and the Lover of My Soul and there is nothing else that can compare. I want You to know, for certain, that there is no one else who competes, in my heart, for the place that only You should hold. I want You to know that my desire is for You and, though I may often fail, my intention is to always be in the very center of Your Will.
Let me never stand in stillness and silence without the winds of Your Spirit blowing through my life. You are just too much for my mind to conceive or my heart to contain. Reveal to me Your heart, oh God, and let me live my life in such a way that I can help bring about the things in the world that fulfill Your Kingdom purposes. Thank You for Your unending mercies and grace. Let my life be lived in such a way that brings honor to Your all-mighty Name. Thank you God, for drawing me, by Your Spirit, to enter into such a rewarding, fulfilling, and passionate relationship with You. I’ve fallen completely in love with You and You just keep drawing me deeper and deeper in every day. Thank You, God. Thank You for this life, for this love, and for this relationship with You. There is no one else for me…none but You, Lord. None but You.
220 Gal 