Well, there are a lot of ways I could go with this, but let me start by being completely transparent about my natural response. Since losing my job, more often than I’d like to admit, I feel like a little girl who is huddled in the corner, scared to freaking death. I’m completely confused about what I’m supposed to be doing and the only “answers” I keep hearing are almost more frightening than the silence. I’m 44 and utterly terrified to rewrite who I am…to do absolutely everything in a completely different way than I ever have before. This isn’t what I would call “an adventure.” I don’t feel brave or inspiring. I don’t necessarily always feel full of faith or super-spiritual about any of this. In my feelings, I’m scared–and I know I shouldn’t be, but the fact is, I am–and I hate this. Like so many others, I never wanted to NEED God. I just wanted to want Him. But that’s just not how it works.
Now…beyond my corner-cowering, scared-child, natural response, I have to get down to the brass tacks of my Spiritual response. While acknowledging the fact that these fears exist is important so that they may be released to God for healing, the most important item on today’s agenda is acknowledging the fact that the One who brought me to this place will also be the One to lead me out of it. I cannot live by my feelings. They are liars that are meant to be indicators, not dictators. Yes, they do exist…they are real…but they are NOT in charge. THIS is my decision, every single day.
From the moment I wake up, I have to remember that fear and faith cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Therefore, before I even get out of bed, I MUST CHOOSE to shut down the screaming voice of the enemy and incline my ear to hear the still, small Voice that speaks life and hope over me and my situation. If I really believe in God (and I do), then I have to know that His Word is always true, and it never comes back void. So when He says He is the author and finisher of my faith, I have to have confidence in Him to write a better story for me than I can even fathom for myself. When He says He will provide ALL of my needs according to His riches and glory, I have to understand how vast His riches are and how immeasurable His glory is. I have to realize that there is a storehouse that is not just full of blessings for me, but it’s overflowing! Knowing He has a plan for me–one He developed before He ever placed me in my mother’s womb–I have to set my mind upon the awesome promise that He will never leave nor forsake me and pursue that plan with everything I have.
I know God is doing amazing things through all of this. He is definitely growing me. He is taking me to a higher level. He is drawing me closer to Him and showing me how to trust Him in a way I’ve never known before. Knowing all of that doesn’t make it any easier. But it does remind me that there is a light, not only at the end of the tunnel, but in the very midst of the tunnel. In the dark, dank, enclosed spaces, there is a light that overtakes the darkness and tells me, “Fear not, for I am with you.”
Whatever our own circumstances are, there is a choice for each of us to make every day. But thank God, there IS a choice! We need not concern ourselves for the things that are in our past…they’re over and done with. Nor should we worry for tomorrow, as tomorrow will bring it’s own worries. But we are to only concern ourselves with seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness TODAY…and TODAY, when I looked to Jesus, I didn’t give up. TODAY, when I sought the Kingdom, I chose to trust my King…my FATHER, and TODAY I have been provided for. And when tomorrow does come, His new mercies will arrive with the morning sun, and I will once again be covered in the shadow of the Almighty.
These are the things we are to continually think about–not our fears…things that are true, honorable, worthy of respect…things that are right and confirmed by God’s Word…pure, wholesome, lovely things that bring peace…things worthy of admiration and things that are of good repute…these things that are excellent and worthy of praise, and THIS is the only place I should allow my mind to linger when those lying feelings and irrational fears try to seep in and overtake me. For greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world. I AM more than a conqueror, and I WILL have an amazing testimony at the end of this test. No matter how it feels right now, I will choose to be grateful for this lesson.
I don’t know if any of this helps you, but it sure helps me! God is no respecter of persons and whatever He does for me, He is willing to do for you too. Whatever fears may be trying to overtake you today, I pray that the Word of God will take root in your heart and provide you with the peace that surpasses all understanding. God is our vindicator, but He is also our Daddy and our Friend. He is for us, and He will cause all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purposes. There is no mightier king than the Father, no greater friend than Jesus, and no better teacher than the Holy Spirit.
In the timeless lyrics of a Mary Mary song that has carried me through many a rough trials, I close with this: “I just can’t give up now. I’ve come too far from where I’ve started from. Nobody told me, the road would be easy, and I can’t believe He’s brought me this far to leave me.”
Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, take pleasure in Him]; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit [your graciousness, unselfishness, mercy, tolerance, and patience] be known to all people. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours]. Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]. The things which you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things [in daily life], and the God [who is the source] of peace and well-being will be with you. – Philippians 4:4-9 (AMP)
And my God will liberally supply (fill until full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19 (AMP)
220 Gal 