I was born, raised, and I still live in the small refinery town in Illinois—just a few miles east of downtown St. Louis, Missouri. It’s the same small town where I was born and a place where all my core family members live within minutes of one another.
Very early on, my life was significantly marked by loss. My dad died when I was just 15 months old. Then, when I was 15 years old, I lost two of my sisters within a month of each other. It was at this point in my life that I rejected the very idea of God. Trying to fill the void inside of me, I turned drugs, sex, and alcohol. I got “knocked-up” at 18 and was a full-on single mom by 19. I married and divorced my first husband in less than two years, then met my current husband at a 24-hour night club. He was the one-night-stand who never went home. We were married in 1995. We lost our first son in 1996, then I gave birth to our second son in 1998. The years and years of increasing drunkenness, drugs, and a total detachment from reality brought on the ultimate obliteration of our family as we knew it.
But here…right here…in all the dirty mess…this is where God met me.
In the fall of 2002, my husband was sent to jail, divorce papers were drafted, and I literally collapsed under the weight of the consequences of all my past decisions. Right there, on the floor, all I could say through my sobs was, “God, IF you’re there, I need you.” Just that…that little phrase…no “official prayer,” no altar call, no preacher to help me do it. Just asking Him to come, He came. It’s like I barely cracked open the door of my heart—where He had been waiting for me all those years—and, upon giving Him permission, He kicked it in and rescued me. Not only that, but He also rescued my husband, and later restored our marriage and our family.
God is a redeemer and a restorer and my life has been forever changed because He loves me and He never stopped pursuing me. No matter how many times I pushed Him away, He never found me to be too much trouble. I was never too lost nor too dirty nor too far gone for Him to still want me. I deserved nothing. Actually, I deserved destruction. But He gave me forgiveness. He gave me hope and a future; He replaced my tears with joy; and He exchanged beauty for my ashes. Nothing can separate us from the love of God.
And friend, He is no respecter of persons—which simply means, if He did it for me (and He did), He will do it for you. If you haven’t let Him in yet, I can assure you right now…He wants to do the same for you. I promise you, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If you feel Him tugging on your heart right now, please don’t hesitate to invite Him into your life today. It doesn’t have to be a particular prayer, but it can be something really simple, like this…
Jesus, I need you. Thank you for dying on the cross for me, so I can be saved. I’m sorry I’ve sinned and rejected you in the past. But today, I accept you as my Lord and Savior, and I invite You to come live inside of me. Take me and make me who you want me to be. Amen.
Again, these are “magic words.” When it comes to God, it’s all about the posture of your heart. But if you said these words and meant them in your heart, then I announce to you that you are saved. Your sins have been forgiven, you’re Heaven-bound, and I couldn’t be happier for you! Your new life starts right now!
Please be aware…the enemy of your soul (the devil) is not happy about the decision you made today. He will try to steal your resolve and convince you that nothing has changed. But don’t let him lie to you. To grow strong in the Lord, do your best to do these three things:
- Read the Bible, even if you don’t think you understand it yet. Your spirit knows what you’re reading and it will be revealed to you as you go.
- Get yourself into a strong, Bible-believing church. Church doesn’t save you. But it helps to surround yourself with others who are going in the same direction. We all need each other!
- Pray. It doesn’t have to be fancy or difficult. Talk to God just like you would your best friend (because He is now, you know!). He can handle the real, raw you. I promise, He won’t be surprised or appalled by anything you say. He already knows! 😉
220 Gal 