Tithing…Doing It Afraid

I haven’t been tithing long, but I am a tither (it feels so good to say that!). God really left me alone about it for a very long time, but one day, within the past year, he finally convicted me of the responsibility to Him that I was not meeting. He finally made it clear to me that it was my duty to comply with His law. I was one of those, like so many, who thought, “If I can’t pay my bills, I certainly can’t just ‘give away’ such a large amount of money. God would want me to pay my bills and be debt-free. After all, its not right to owe anyone anything and just not pay it. Once I get all this taken care of, then I’ll tithe.”

Yeah, those of you who have been tithers for a while are snickering now. Don’t we all do that at some point? Don’t we all want to compromise God’s Word when it doesn’t suit us? “He doesn’t really mean THAT,” or, “Oh, that one doesn’t apply in this day and age.” lol. What nonsense. Those excuses are all just lies we tell ourselves to make us feel better. Either God’s word is soverign or it isn’t.

Look, if you really know God and you really love Him, then you must trust Him, and He must be able to trust you. That’s the basis for any good relationship…mutual trust. And if you really, truly trust Him, you must believe that He is going to do what He says He will and take care of you. If you don’t believe that, then you don’t trust Him and your pseudo-faith is worthless.

Its not always easy to trust God. When the worries of the world are screaming in your face…when the reality of your bills is showing up in your mailbox every day…its hard to trust when you see your bank account and the numbers just aren’t jiving. Its hard to trust when there’s a family history of illness and you start showing symptoms. Its hard to trust when you see someone you love falling away and going down a dark and dangerous path. But without trust, what have we in God? Lip service. That, He can do without.

Its fun, at first, when you start tithing. It seems like God is so proud of you that He just wants to bless your socks off! For me, I had written a deposit check for a trip that had to be cancelled, and I was told almost a month before I started tithing that I wouldn’t get my deposit back. I was so sad, but I couldn’t argue; it was their policy and there was nothing I could do. But God…:) A week or so after I started tithing, I received a check for a full refund of my deposit. No explanation. I didn’t call them, I didn’t complain. I just let it go, and God brought it back to me. Since that time, there has been three “bills” I’ve received, twice from the gas company and once from the electic company, and the amount due was $0. I’m on budget billing, and it just worked out, three times within months of each other, that I didn’t owe anything for these utilities. Hmmmm. I also got a check from the electric company. It was a refund of my deposit I had made a long time ago when I established a new account with them. Amazing.

Look, I’m not suggesting you tithe to get something out of it. Its your duty. Its a non-negotiable law. You should just do it because God told you to. But I’m just telling you, when you come alongside God and really, really put your trust in Him, it makes Him so happy that He wants to do good for you. He wants to bless those who honor Him with the first fruits of their labor. But, its not all peaches and cream…sometimes you still struggle. Sometimes you still have to wonder where the money is going to come from…but, if you stay faithful, God provides us with all we need.

God can’t show you how awesome He is, nor how much He loves you, if everything is just great all the time. Its in the tough stuff life gives you that He can really shine. Its in the darkness that God can blow you away with His Goodness and Mercy. Its where you recognize its Him because it just can’t possibly be anything else.

Last week, at church, I had my tithe money, in cash, in my purse. I’ve been struggling financially, but making it through each payday with enough. I really “needed” that money. I thought of just holding on to it and maybe paying double next time (which I probably wouldn’t have done – I was just telling myself that). Then my pastor preached on tithing. lol. Was my face red?! And it was a GOOD sermon too! I KNEW God was telling me not to give up. I’ve been faithful this long, don’t stop trusting Him now.

I took that money out and slapped it into an envelope so fast, I think there’s skid-marks inside my wallet. I almost stole from God. I almost gave in to fear. I almost cheated my church. Oh, my goodness. Thank you, God, for not allowing me to follow through with that terrible plan.

Just a day or two after I stayed faithful, God blessed me again, to reassure me. I got an e-mail from an unexpected source. They needed some freelance work done and they had heard I had the skills to do it. The job is just enough to cover some expenses I’m coming up on to cover a trivia night fund-raiser I’m planning for next month. I wasn’t sure how I was going to pull it off…then God took over and did it for me. There was no doubt God was in this.

He knew I was getting scared, and He just reassured me, once again. It was like He was saying, “I’ve got this.” The Lord IS my Shepherd; I shall not WANT. And I will not consider cheating God again. I’m sorry for even entertaining the thought and trying to make excuses for it. God, I want to be in right standing with You. I don’t ever want anything to be so important that I place it before You. I may not have an abundance at this point, here on this Earth, but in Heaven, you have a storehouse, filled to capacity with blessings and provision, and its all just waiting just for me. And even here, on this side of Heaven, You will pour out Your blessings upon me as I reach the right level of maturity and trustworthiness to be a good steward of all You’ve given me. Still, I’m not doing this to earn blessings, but because I want to be in obedience to You and I want to walk in faith, knowing that you have my circumstances under control. I want to love You more than I love financial comfort. I want to trust You more that I do my bank account. I want to remember that You are my provider, not the government nor the nay sayers preaching financial doom and gloom on the five o’clock news. I want to know that You are here – and I do. Thank You for the peace I have in these tumultuous economic times. Thank you for the sleep I get at night, knowing You are in charge. Thank you, God, for loving me so much. 🙂