Vanity of Vanities

I’m tired. So, so tired. I’m tired of fighting. Tired of struggling. Tired of constantly battling the same things over and over and over again. Things that I thought were over  keep coming back around. Things I was sure had been defeated have wormed their way into my thoughts and they have disrupted my heart. When does it get easier? Where does the madness end? 

Does any of that sound familiar? It does to me. I feel this way sometimes, and when I do, I can’t help think about Ecclesiastes1, “Vanity of vanities…” skip over a ton of complaining… “there is nothing new under the sun…” Even beloved kings with all the money and power and influence in the world fall victim to these feelings.

Sometimes life feels horribly difficult…repetitive…mundane. The struggles feel so futile. I honestly believe most all of us really do try to do good things…to be good people. We try to live right and treat others right and do all the things we’re supposed to do. But we just keep messing up. Little foxes sneak in and spoil the vine. Wrong thoughts. Anger. Selfishness. Pride. Who am I kidding? These foxes are anything but little. They’re huge! They are the things that take our focus off of God and put our focus on ourselves. They’re what make us turn inward and spend our time thinking about “poor little me.” So no wonder we feel, sometimes, like our lives are just smoke and mirrors…like a vaporous mist, and then gone.

When we spend too much time worrying about ourselves and what we aren’t getting out of everyone else–or out of our lives in general–it’s really easy to become selfish and angry. When we focus on everything that’s not the way we think it should be, we begin to feel incomplete and overlooked. But, honestly, if our lives are messed up, we can probably do something about most of our situations. It may require a changing of our perspective…purposing to look at things in a different way. It may necessitate the changing of our attitude…remembering to be thankful for all we have instead of focusing on all the things we don’t have. It may be that we need to let go of things..like holding other people responsible for our happiness or living in unforgiveness.

All I know is we have to purposefully pull ourselves out our self-centered little pity parties. Yeah, we all get there from time to time, but we can choose whether or not we remain there. When we’re feeling sorry for ourselves and mourning all that we don’t have, we fail to acknowledge all that God IS doing. Though our situations may be painful, we should ask ourselves…are these heartaches causing me to grow? Is God ripping away parts of my flesh that are holding me back? Am I learning something in the process that can make my future life better or more full?

These times of struggle serve a greater purpose. God doesn’t toy with us, teasing us with empty promises and withholding His goodness. No. He is sovereign and He is good ALL of the time. He loves us. He is doing things for us “behind the scenes,” and we mustn’t despise the process, for God’s goodness is wrapped up inside of it all.

Whatever you’re struggling with, whatever you need, God already knows. He hasn’t given up on you, so don’t give up on Him. Be faithful, knowing He is there. Some day we will all be able to look back and see all that God was doing and, if we swallowed our pride and stifled our complaining long enough to allow Him to do it, we’re going to be much better off for it.

God never said our lives would be easy. He just said He would go ahead of us and level the mountains and make our crooked paths straight (Isaiah 45:2). We still have to climb the rubble and walk the path. But, the sooner we get on board with what God is doing, the sooner the victory dance can commence. Meanwhile, here are a couple of power-scriptures to hold on to while you’re waiting for that “dance.”

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer” – Romans 12:12