We had kind of a rough afternoon today. The tension level in our house was elevated and there were some sharp tones to the words that were being spoken. There wasn’t an actual “fight.” There wasn’t an actual “argument.” There wasn’t even an actual reason for any of it. It was just like an overall sense of anger and impatience had settled over our home. Now, at one time, this wouldn’t surprise anyone. But these days, that kind of tension really troubles our spirits, so we try our best to keep our home and our hearts as free of that kind of stuff as possible. Are we always successful? Certainly not. But today, we were able to recognize where those attitudes could lead, so we calmly dealt with them before things got any further out of hand. A short time passed, apologies were given and accepted, expressions of love were exchanged, and all the tension left almost immediately.
I hate to admit it, but it actually still surprises me sometimes when we’re able to talk ourselves down from these angry places. We have such an angry history. But our past doesn’t have to follow us into our future. As we’ve purposed to change our old habits, God has blessed our meager attempts and given us so much of His grace! I’m still amazed to see us listening to the nudges of the Holy Spirit and stopping arguments BEFORE they spiral out of control. As a matter of fact, if anyone asks…yes, God DOES still perform miracles today—and this is one of them!
I mean, my family loves one another; we really do. But we also love to be right and to have the last word. So, when we get to these moments, we have to ask ourselves…does it matter who is right or who is wrong? Is fighting going to bring us to a place we want to be? Does yelling ever cause anyone to change their mind? There’s just no room in our lives for this kind of stuff anymore. As the Bible says, death and life are in the power of the tongue. So, we’ve drawn bloodlines in the sand and we’re choosing life. We’re doing our level best to be mindful of the presence of the Holy Spirit everywhere we go—and especially in our home. If you could see Him, would you act the same as you do when you pretend He isn’t there? Yeah. Us either. So, we intentionally welcome Him into every part of our day, and we do our best not to forget He is here. You would be surprised how much of a difference-maker that is! It’s not like we can say, “God, turn your head and close your eyes for a moment. Would ya?” He is an ever-present help in time of need, and He is right in the midst of us when we’re about to do battle—spiritual or fleshly. How it must grieve Him to watch two of His beloved children hurt one another—and over what? What is so important that we can’t find a peaceful way to cooperate and resolve the issue? We can have all the faith in the world, but if we have not love, we are nothing.
Again, I have not yet perfected this process. As Philippians 3:12–14 says in The Message:
“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”
I still have some old, sin-tainted tendencies that show up in my frenzied mornings that start with, “I need $20 before school today,” and in my exhausted evenings when I’m tired and worn soul-thin from working all day, yet come home to more work that still needs to be done. But I’m choosing to quit making excuses for my responses and start accepting responsibility. It doesn’t matter what “time of month” it is or how many hot flashes I’ve experienced today, I’m choosing to take up my sword and battle—not against flesh and blood—but against powers and principalities and rulers of darkness…against the powers of darkness that would love to use division to split the home I’ve fought so hard to maintain. I don’t have to stand idly by and allow demonic whispers to tell me what I’m entitled to or how much better I’ll feel if I just lash out and say what’s on my mind. No. I will take up my cross and prayerfully endure this fight against the flesh. I will submit to the Spirit of God Who tells me to pursue peace and to speak only words that are edifying, encouraging, and useful for building others up. I will remember that only a fool gives full vent to his anger, and I will remember that I DO HAVE a gentle and quiet spirit. I don’t have to defend or justify myself; I can trust God with that. And, in the end, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, and we will do so with gladness and unity and love, trusting Him to carry us through any and every storm.
Below is a screenshot of a text exchange between me and one of my family members. It’s from the ending of a really old argument…I have no idea anymore what we were even arguing about, but I loved the simplicity of the restoration so much that I kept a picture of just this part of it. This is so beautiful because it’s so simple…so few words…yet you can so plainly see the honest sorrow over having hurt one another, coupled with true forgiveness and restoration in love. That’s it. Does it ever have to be any more complicated than this? Jesus gave us a clear commandment: to love one another as He has loved us. Let’s not forget to live that commandment today.
220 Gal 