My Everything

I keep seeing posts on Facebook that say something along the lines of, “My kids are my everything.” Look, I just gotta say…I love my kids. They are incredible, awesome, amazing people and I am so blessed to get to be their momma. BUT…they are not my everything. They were never supposed to be my everything. They were given to me to raise and teach and encourage and love. But they are not my everything. It’s too much weight for a child to feel they are their parents’ everything. They should never have to feel the heaviness of us relying on them to feel happy, needed, and complete.

As a matter of fact, I’m going to go one step further and tell you that my love for my children does not even supersede the love I have for my husband. The different kinds of love I have for each of them are not even in the same league anyway, so it’s not like they’re really in competition with one another. But the fact of the matter is, if I were forced to choose between blessing my children or blessing my husband, I’m going to put my husband first. Go ahead. Gasp. Get offended. Do whatever it is you feel you have to do. But my children were given to me to grow and release. If we’re truly raising our kids correctly, our whole assignment is spent teaching them how to live without us. But my husband was given to me to walk through to the end of my life with, and I was created to be his helper. Marriage done right is spent learning how to live lives that are bonded together forever. 

As my husband’s helper, I am not second-rate to my husband. I am an indispensable part of his life-plan. I am perfectly crafted to partner with him in a special way that helps him more effectively provide for and lead our family. He’s not completely reliant upon me, but he does crave my camaraderie and approval. Is that because he insecure? No. It’s because that’s how God designed him. God created us to work in tandem with one another. Where my husband is weak, I am strong, and where I am weak, he is strong. The best metaphor I’ve ever heard related to this is that we’re like the two sides of Velcro…one is softer and the other a little rougher. Apart, each side curls and droops over. But, pressed together, we stand firm and strong. The scratchy side can’t do much of anything by itself and the softer side can’t do much of anything by itself. But with both sides pressing in together, Velcro can hold things together securely—and so can we. My kids feel safer knowing that their parents are working together rather than fighting for control.

So if my kids and my husband are not my everything, Who is? You knew it was coming (the capital “w” probably gave it away!). God. The Lord is my everything. In Him I am made strong. In Him I am made wise. In Him I am made loving and kind and forgiving. In Him I am made free to be me! He is the only One capable of handling the real, raw, unedited me and who will still love, encourage, and believe in me no matter what. He is the One who makes me feel whole, loved, accepted, secure, happy, fulfilled, and complete. If I’m trying to extract any of these things from any other human being, I’m being completely unfair. No one is equipped to do these things for me. Only my Creator knows how to fulfill the very depths of my soul. Only He knows the best way for me to go in every situation.

Given all that, do I still need to follow my husband’s lead? Absolutely. But, if I have God and He is my everything, why do I have to listen to a man? Because the Word of God tells me to. The Lord Himself has given me my husband and, knowing what’s best for us both, He told me to honor and respect the man He gave me and trust Him with the rest. I’m able to do so because I finally understand that meekness does not equal weakness; it’s truly strength under God’s control. I understand that submitting to my husband is not just doing whatever he says like a weak little mouse. It’s far more about submitting to God’s will and truly trusting Him for the outcome. I can trust God because I know He is leading my husband in the right direction for both of us, and even when my husband gets it wrong, God can redeem it and He will bless us for my obedience to the calling He has given me.

These things God asks of me are not unfair or insulting. It’s an honor to serve in the most influential roles of wife and mother to the family He has given me. It’s a privilege that I wouldn’t allow any other woman to dare to try and tread upon. This is the garden God has given me to tend and it’s the most beautiful garden in the world. It doesn’t make me weak. It doesn’t make me stupid. It doesn’t make me unimportant. It makes me more precious than rubies in the eyes of my husband, my children, and my God…and that’s not a bad place to be!

So when I think about Who my everything is…it has to be God, because he holds in His hands everything and everyone else that is precious to me. He shows me how to parent and how to support. He gives me the wisdom I need to handle every situation that comes down the pike. He is my everything because I can trust Him to always be there, to always be right on time, and to always have my best interests in mind. There is no relationship in this world that can compare to the one I have with my Everything…my All in All…my Alpha and my Omega…my Savior and my King.