At first, I reacted with incredulousness. I could hardly believe what he said! Then my emotions quickly jumped from anger, to hurt, and went straight to bitterness. The escalation of one sentence…eleven words…it raced through a well-worn path in my brain and I went from “a perfectly fine day” to “he never really loved you”—a lie the devil has been whispering to me, in varying forms, for as long as I can remember.
Like a seasoned matador enrages and lures a charging bull, the enemy invited me to go deeper and deeper into his lies…enticed to anger by the skilled twitching of his red cape. With each swish, another lie. Another twitch and another reminder of all the times my husband has ever said anything insensitive to me. Like a stubborn bull, I just kept chasing after that red cape.
Ah! Therein lies the problem…I kept running toward the cape. The enemy is skilled at how he maneuvers himself. He uses confusing patterns and illusion to entice us, and before we know it, we’re running toward him instead of running to Jesus.
I run to you God; I run for dear life. – Psalm 31:1 (MSG)
So here we were, late at night, about to go to bed hurt and angry. Then I felt the Spirit of God reminding me not to let the sun go down on my anger. I am right in the middle of a really big pity party, tears and all, and now this?! Irritated, I silently prayed, “But God, why does it always have to be me?! I’m the one who is hurt here…Can’t you just give me this ONE?!”
Seconds later, in the darkness, my husband said he was sorry for hurting my feelings. But you know what? I still didn’t want to forgive him. I felt really justified in my hurt and it was going to take more than a little, “I’m sorry,” to make it go away. Then he said something else. My husband verbalized the root of his problem without really realizing it. At first, his reason for saying what he did felt like a cop-out. But it wasn’t because of him; it was because of the stinkin’ attitude I had developed while chasing all those red capes.
The Spirit of Truth then began to minister to my heart and reveal to me what was behind the hurtful words that were spoken earlier that night. The enemy had been waving his red cape in my husband’s mind too…twitches of fear and insecurity and exposure rose up from within and spilled out of his mouth. What he said wasn’t meant to harm me. It was really the overflow of his heart which, at that moment, was filled with as many lies as mine was. The lie was exposed. Then, as quickly as I got angry, I shifted to a heart of compassion as I asked, “Who told you that? That’s not who you are.” It took just a couple of minutes before sincere apologies ensued and we exchanged “I love yous” prior to going to sleep.
If I had only sought to hear his heart earlier, all of this other junk could have been avoided. One of Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” says to seek first to understand, then to be understood. I had that all backwards. The enemy almost pulled one over on us that night, but God is so good! He wasn’t going to let us continue chasing those lies because He knows something that I didn’t—until He showed me the next morning.
I woke up with the words, “Toro! Toro!” resounding in my Spirit. This was the beginning of the revelation of all I’ve already shared with you. But the most important thing the Lord wanted me to find was the purpose of the cape used by the matador. This led me to research bull fighting and…Are you ready for this?…I discovered the real purpose for the cape. Bulls don’t care that the cape is red; they are color-blind. (The color is more about tradition than anything else.) The twitching and swishing are designed to entice the bull to charge. But the real purpose of the cape is to hide the sword that the matador is going to use to kill the bull as it charges him.
*drops the mic*
Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [[a]in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. – 1 Peter 5:8 (AMP)
We must remain ever vigilant that there is a real enemy of our souls, and he is a crafty one! He will disguise himself as emotion-invoking truth, self-preservation, and justification…whatever it takes to get us chasing after him and his deceptive red cape. Twitching the cape of temptation, his only purpose is to get us chasing after him…to get us just close enough so that we will fall victim to this blade. But more powerful than the father of all lies is the Voice of Truth who seeks to reveal the truth about us and about our loved ones so that we can be people after His own heart. He teaches us to be the kind of people who offer gentle answers that turn away wrath; people whose words are like apples of gold in settings of silver; people whose words are intended to encourage, edify, and build-up one another in love.
I thank God for His Voice that bubbles up out of my spirit, even when I don’t want to hear it. I thank Him that He is ever vigilant in looking out for His children and ever ready to fight the battles on our behalf. We just simply have to remember to listen to Him and not shut Him out when He’s trying to remind us who we are and Whose image we are made to reflect. Thank you, Jesus, for helping me to stop and hear the Truth so that I can respond—both to people and to the lies of the enemy—in a way that glorifies You. As long as we have been walking together, God, I realize I still have such a long way to go. But through Your goodness and mercy, I press on, getting closer and closer, day by day.
Teach me Your way, O Lord, that I may walk and live in Your truth; direct and unite my heart [solely, reverently] to fear and honor Your name. – Psalm 86:11 (AMP)
Not that I have already reached the goal or am already fully mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.13 Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, – Philippians 3:12-13 (HCSB)
220 Gal 