In celebration of our 20-year wedding anniversary, my husband and I renewed our vows this past weekend, which was a really significant event for us. The vows spoken at our original wedding were words we repeated from someone who told us what to say. They were words that had no deep, spiritual meaning as they were reiterated by two broken, addicted, messed-up people who had no idea what they were getting into. The years that followed were really rough. After seven years of marriage, a three-year separation, and years of healing that followed, we wanted a “do-over.” The vows we spoke this past weekend came from our hearts and had a deep, lasting connotation. This time, we knew what we were getting into and we still wanted in!
As I prepared for our vow renewal, God reveled to me an amazing story about how my wedding rings have paralleled my life with my husband. We included this story in our programs and I thought it might be cool to share it here as well in hopes that it might encourage someone else. There is nothing ever too broken for God to heal. Enjoy!
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The first ring Chuck bought was presented to me outside of work one morning as he asked me to marry him. It was simple and cute and had the sweetest little diamond in it…But I didn’t know how to care for it, so the diamond fell out at work one day and I lost something precious that I couldn’t seem to find again. Looking back, I can’t help but notice how this parallels to stage one of our relationship. I had found a precious new love in Chuck that I knew nothing about and, because I was clueless about how to take care of it, I eventually lost that sweet shimmer that we often find in new relationships.
The next ring Chuck bought me was a nice ring of lesser value, both monetarily and sentimentally. I wore it for years, but I never really valued it. It didn’t look as good as the other girls’ rings. It got banged around and misshapen and, eventually, the thin band that held it together cracked. This symbol of our eternal love was broken. Ironically, this was around the same time our marriage was broken. After I lost the value of something special, the replacement wasn’t treated with as much care as it should have been and I took for granted what I had. The result was a brokenness that no earthy jeweler could repair.
But thank God, that wasn’t the end. Eventually, we reconciled and I was given a new ring. I liked this one because it was the symbol of a new start. I wore this through the years of our reconciliation. The funny thing about this ring was, over time, it began to irritate me, and my finger broke out in a rash beneath the band. This season of our marriage was also rather irritating. We were trying to figure out how to be the new people God created us to be and, in the process, there was a lot of changing and dying to “self” that had to take place in each of us. However, this time, the ring didn’t break. It may have been irritating, but it was still valuable to me. I had to take breaks from it a few times to allow for some healing, but I always kept it close to me and I always put it back on the moment I was healed.
Today, we exchange ring number four, and I’m so excited about these rings! One is made of tungsten and the other of titanium. Although they are different, they are still two of the strongest metals out there. They are made to last forever and, what’s more, they are camouflage. Why camo?! Well, what I really like about the camo pattern is that its purpose is to help people hide.
See, our original wedding was so self-centered. It was all about all the wrong things. But at this vow renewal, we get a second chance to determine the legacy of our marriage and, in so doing, we are excited to announce to all our friends and family that our marriage is a Covenant marriage…one that is hidden in Christ. In this relationship, we want to be so hidden in Him that no one is able to see us without first seeing Him. He is our Camouflage…our Strength…our Covering…and our Protector. In Him, this marriage is made to last forever. If you see something in us that you want for your own relationship, it’s only because He has made it so.
220 Gal 