I’ve been looking back over this old blog site, originally titled “Ross’ Ruminations,” and here I am…a 220 Gal, still ruminating. What an interesting thing it is to have this trail of memories, dreams, promises, and testimonies, like a smattering of breadcrumbs that others can follow. It’s a winding, messy, highly imperfect path, but by His grace, it has always been leading me (and hopefully you too) to the most beautiful destination…the feet of Jesus.
Looking back to where all of this started, I’ve watched this site transform…I’ve watched ME transform. I’ve cringed at some posts and considered deleting them, but then thought better of it, as it was all part of the journey. Maybe, someday, I’ll cringe over this one? But I’ve seen this site transform from its original, unhinged zeal—sometimes posting multiple times in a day—to a more mature place of wisdom that speaks more quietly, with fewer words but perhaps more impact.
I was a momma when I started this. Now I’m a grandma. And I’ve transitioned from ministerial employment to working a regular job, and becoming a momma bear in the back of the sanctuary, quietly listening for God to point out people who need some extra love and encouragement. What a sweet opportunity I’ve been given as the Lord has helped me exchange all my well-intentioned but somewhat selfish dreams of “going and doing” for the grace-filled privilege of being present where I am and investing in the generations all around me.
Oh, I still go, and I still do. The Lord will always have my eternal “yes” to whatever His invitations are. But it no longer drives me. My focus has shifted from going on mission trips to living a missional life with those whom He places along my path. And let’s face it, I’m much happier, far more fulfilled, and vastly more effective when I’m having one-on-one conversations with a young momma in a coffee shop, talking about Jesus and helping her build her life around Him, than I would be in a mosquito-infested jungle, fighting for my life. So discipleship, intercession, and inner healing are where I find myself flowing these days. It’s a sweet, sacred calling, and I am blown away that God trusts me to disciple these beautiful souls.
There once was a time that I would have resisted this seeming change of plans (my plans, not necessarily His). The very idea…surely, I am settling for less than His best. It must be the work of the devil! I need to go and shout His name from the rooftops! Lol. But the Lord knows me better than I know myself. So, He gently moved me, one subtle shift after another, taking me only as far as I could withstand, softly making much-needed micro-adjustments to my heart, showing me His dreams, and holding my hand all along the way. Thank you, Lord, for your Fatherly wisdom and unending kindness!
Yes, it seems this ruminator has reached a point where I’ve begun to recognize these inevitable cycles in life. As seasons change, passions shift, organizations rise and fall, leaders come and go, people live and die. It’s all part of the deal. But one thing remains so comfortingly consistent, and that’s Jesus…the same yesterday, today, and forever. As long as He remains the focus, our circumstances are much easier to roll with. Grace is easier to grant. People are easier to forgive. Plans are more easily changed.
So if I have a breadcrumb to share with you today, it is to live with open hands, allowing the Lord to lead you into the fullness of the season He has for you today. No matter what the previous season looked like or what you imagined future seasons would be, there is only grace for what is now. Know that it is so much more about HIS Kingdom than your calling. Then embrace it, understanding that He is a good Father and He has good plans for you.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)
220 Gal 